


King of the Castle

by JantoJones



Series: Brief Briefings [100]
Category: The Man From U.N.C.L.E. (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-19
Updated: 2017-07-19
Packaged: 2018-12-04 04:57:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11547948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JantoJones/pseuds/JantoJones
Summary: Napoleon is the resident U.N.C.L.E. ladies' man, so how come Illya seems to get more attention?





	King of the Castle

“Good morning, April,” Illya greeted as he passed her in the door of the commissary. “I am unable to stop, but Napoleon is in there.”

April smiled a greeting in return, which got bigger when she took in the scene within. Many of the women had clearly just watched the Russian leave, which had resulted in a look of puzzled consternation on the face of Napoleon Solo. After getting her coffee she sat down opposite him.

“You’re jealous,” she stated.

“Jealous of whom?” Napoleon asked, with a frown. 

“Illya, of course,” April told him. “Everyone knows you’re the ladies’ man around here, but you have to work at it. He gets adoration without even trying. You expend a lot of time, money, and energy on each woman, which they appreciate, but which they also expect. Dating you is a two way deal, in which each party is using the other. Don’t get me wrong, everyone gets what they want, but every woman here knows what they’ll get from you. For a spy, you’re an exceptionally open book.”

“That doesn’t explain why you think I’m jealous of Illya.”

“It’s simple. He is mystery personified,” she explained. “Illya is a shy and private man. He rarely lets people get close, he doesn’t open up about his life, and his background is practically top secret. The mystery is part of what makes him attractive.”

Napoleon huffed. He honestly didn’t think he was jealous of his partner, but he had to admit he could occasionally get a little envious of the effortless way he attracted women.

“Okay,” he replied. “I get the mystery thing, but that alone wouldn’t leave a trail of swooning women.”

“You’re right,” April agreed. “But, add the shyness, and the exceptional cuteness, and it’s like catnip.”

“Cuteness?” Napoleon echoed, with incredulity.

“I don’t wish to massage your ego, Napoleon, but I can’t deny that you are a very handsome man. With those warm brown eyes, chiselled jaw, and million watt smile, you are more than nice to look at. However, you know it, and you use that to your advantage. Illya, on the hand, isn’t so obvious.”

April paused momentarily to take a sip of her coffee, and to enjoy Napoleon’s conflicted expression. He seemed to be both pleased at April’s description of him, while also being annoyed that she thought he was obvious.

“Let me explain,” she continued. “Illya is not naïve, and he is just as good as you at using his looks to get what he wants, when he needs to. However, he genuinely doesn’t seem to realise what he does to people all the time. The little half smile, the way he looks through his eyelashes, and even that scruffy blond mop of hair have women lusting after him. Then there are his eyes. Those bright blue pools, with which he can freeze an enemy with an icy steel glare, often make him look so vulnerable that the ladies just want to hug him.”

She leant over and patted Napoleon’s hand.

“Don’t worry. You’re still the king of the castle when it comes to dating.”

Before she’d even reached the end of the sentence, Napoleon’s attention was taken by the entrance of a new staff member.

“I gotta go,” he said hurriedly to April, before darting off to introduce himself.

“I doubt that crown will be lost any time soon,” Miss Dancer muttered, with a wry smile.


End file.
